Season 1: July 1, 2025 – July 1, 2026

$15 for pets that fight in a game we’re barely holding together? We admire your optimism.

Free tier gets the basics—stuff to survive without us admitting defeat. Premium? Same junk, plus pets that pretend to help in PVE and cosmetics to mask how average we all are.

What Free Players Get (Our Bare Minimum Effort):

• Wealth: $100,000 across 30 tiers. It’ll cover the bills, assuming we didn’t mess up the math.
• Survival Arsenal: Armor, tools, weapons. They work… on our side, at least.
• Materials: Fancy resources for crafting. No promises on balance.
• Potions: Full alchemy kit. Brew at your own risk; we’re not liable.
• Infrastructure: Building blocks for whatever. It’s functional, if janky.
• Knowledge: Guides and blueprints. Read them—we didn’t.

What $15 Premium Adds (Our Attempt at Value):

All the free slop, plus:

• Combat Pets (PVE-Only, Because We Can’t Balance PVP):
• Basic: Dog. Bites mediocrely, $5 equivalent.
• Elite: Monkey. Slightly less dumb, $10 equivalent.
• Top: Wyvern. Fire-breathing regret, $15 equivalent.
• PVE Breakdown: 1.2x-3.2x damage hacks, absorption/regeneration on kills. Mobs die; our code might too.
• Cosmetics:
• Particle trails on gear and moves. Useless flair for a broken system.
• Advanced effects: Speed/jump/flight visuals. Look cool…
• Badges and titles. Brag subtly; we’ll judge quietly.

The Comparison (We’re Not Proud):

Free Players:

• 100% of the gear that matters.
• Cash, armor, tools, materials—all in.
• Survival loadout, sarcasm baked in.
• Downside: PVE grindfest.

Premium Players ($15):

• Everything above, because we’re lazy.
• Pets that make PVE tolerable.
• Damage boosts and perks to unblock the tedium.
• Permanent cosmetics for fake superiority.
• Digital bragging rights—we’re as skeptical as you.
• Catch: Pets don’t work in PVP. You’re still shit, just polished shit.

What You’re Actually Paying For:

PVE Worlds: Pets make you feel powerful. You’re not, but we are good at playing pretend.

PVP/Season Worlds: Cosmetics. No PVP advantages.

The Math (We Double-Checked, Probably):

$15 buys PVE crutches and PVP veneer.

Free Value: ~$50+ in materials and cash. Helpful-ish.

Bottom Line: Dropping $15 to look cook in PVE and vibe in PVP. We need the cash; you need therapy.

Pet Details:

• Dog ($5 equiv): Basic bites for noobs. Reliable? Maybe.
• Monkey ($10 equiv): Decent damage, vague control.
• Wyvern ($15 equiv): Area blasts, over-the-top. Our code cries.

Disclaimer: Pets PVE-only—disabled elsewhere because balance is hard. PVP equality with free tiers, minus your dignity. Your pets watch you flop in silence.

[Buy Premium – Keep Us Alive! $15]